Because I stroke my hot, red dick

                                       Stroke it once and stroke it twice 

                                    Because it feels so smooth, so nice

                                            Slimy-wet and nasty, too

                                      There’s nothing I would rather do!

                                        I tried to tell my strait-laced wife

                                       I tried to tell, but that caused strife.

                                         In group therapy, I confessed

                                         Told the gang I was obsessed

                                       Not just with my bloated schlong

                                       (Stroke it hard and stroke it long!)

                                          But thinking, too, of pussy lips

                                         And leather skirts and ladies’ tits

                                           Pale as moonrays, nipples stiff

                                       The thought sure gives my dick a lift!